What is Family Ethics? Preserving a Legacy of Trust and Responsibility

The Hoge Family in Chagrin Falls, OH

The quote 'It's not personal; it's only business' from The Godfather movie, often used to illustrate the impersonal and ruthless nature of decision-making in organized crime, was a frequent topic of discussion in my college business ethics class. However, in the context of family ethics, it's not just about making decisions; it's about upholding a legacy of trust and responsibility, a set of core values that elevate a family to a higher standard.

Life Experiences in Ethics Lessons

Growing up in a family-owned mom-and-pop store taught me these valuable lessons on ethics. We were constantly surrounded by money—not just a cash register drawer of money, but mounds of currency we needed to count and be accountable for regularly. Why did we have so much cash? One of our services included check cashing. Nearby, we had the Abbott Lab, where line workers would stop by to get quick payment without having a bank account. Another business, Great Lakes Naval Training Center personnel, was also a frequent visitor. Cash their check, and they would make a purchase. It's a great business model.

However, as worker bees and family members, we would never consider pocketing a single dollar of that money. To work in the business, you had to be a family member. It was assumed that honesty and trust followed suit. Maybe the Catholic school and church we attended across the street kept us in line, but these values were non-negotiable.

Stepping into the business world, away from the family business, I was struck by the stark contrast in values. The corporate ladder seemed to hold more allure for some than maintaining integrity. In my role as a management consultant in Boston, the company partner often made promises we couldn't fulfill. Those eager to impress the higher-ups would readily agree, only to face the consequences when their actions were exposed.

Embarking on my second career as a real estate agent, I was taken aback by the industry's ethical shortcomings. While most agents respected the client relationships of their peers, some were ruthless in their attempts to poach clients. In these moments, I found solace in my family’s core values, which guided me to prioritize integrity over personal gain. Instead, I would honor another agent's relationship with their client rather than risk tarnishing my integrity.

As a Family Business Consultant, I faithfully uphold our family's core values: Family, Integrity, Perseverance, and Knowledge. Recognizing the significance of adhering to strong values, the initial step in the consulting process after preliminary discussions with clients is establishing and working on core values.

Establishing Core Values in Your Family

Creating a set of core values for a family involves a joint and self-reflective process. Here are some steps to establish and implement these values:

Open Discussions: Gather family members to discuss and identify shared beliefs and aspirations that reflect your collective identity and vision.

Define Values: Emphasize integrity, accountability, respect, and fairness, ensuring they align with family dynamics and practices.

Document Values: Create a written statement of your vision, mission, and core values. Consider designing a plaque or card that is prominent to refer back to.

Integrate Values: Regularly discuss ways to incorporate these values into daily routines and decision-making processes.

Review and Reinforce: Continuously remind family members of these values, especially during family gatherings and meetings. Evaluate adherence and make suggestions as necessary.

Establishing core values is not just a symbolic act; it is a practical step that provides guidance, consistency, and direction for decision-making and behavior. These values foster a stable and trustworthy environment, shaping the culture and identity of a family. They enhance motivation, engagement, and a sense of belonging among family members. Most importantly, core values are pivotal in conflict resolution and ethical behavior, contributing to a strong reputation and family name. Ultimately, they create a cohesive, purpose-driven, and moral environment, whether in personal life, within the family, or in broader communities. See Our Core Values Statement Guide.

A well-defined and explicit set of values is crucial, as they serve as a benchmark for individuals to adhere to. When clashes of personal interest arise, it's essential to return to these values. Similarly, when strategizing for the future, it's imperative to consider and resort to these entrenched values. In the quest for a successor, it's essential to prioritize associations that align with these values. “If You Want to Soar with Eagles, Don't Hang Out with Turkeys,” we always say.

Soar with the Eagles Bench from Black Dog Salvage

Our Family’s Journey

Make it a regular practice to remind yourself and your family of your core values consistently. In my family, we have designed a small statement the size of a credit card that lists our Vision, Mission, and Core Values. This card is always with us, and we make it a point to reflect on it frequently. Before our family council meetings, we discuss ways to integrate these values into our daily routines. Our north star is “Dat Gloria Vires,” our family motto; the phrase suggests strength in our family name, and we take this reputation seriously.

When we first established our core values, we didn't realize it would be a long journey. We've learned that rushing into a consensus during a family meeting is ineffective. Discussing, contemplating, and narrowing down what's truly important to everyone takes time. "Education" is one of the values we identified. At first, I insisted on keeping it as one of our final values. However, astute family members pointed out that we discussed "knowledge," which encompasses more than just formal education.

I must note that our process took two years to finalize. Was it due to a lack of a facilitator? Maybe. As the head of the family, it isn't easy to participate in the meeting if you are also coordinating it. A good facilitator can guide you in asking the right questions. They might have fleshed out the distinction between the two words earlier. However, I am pointing out the length of time since you should not rush the process.  It is essential to let the journey unfold.

Conclusion

Upholding values is essential to maintaining a legacy of trust and responsibility in a family. Families establish and sustain core values to create a stable, trustworthy environment that fosters long-term success and harmony. If your family has not yet identified its core values, consider working with a knowledgeable facilitator to guide you through the process. Setting intentional standards of excellence will guide you and your family in making principled decisions and lead to a distinguished and respected legacy. “Das Gloria Vires” is our north star; what are your aspirations for your family's legacy?